Age Difference

The other day, I was thinking about what an age difference between two people really mean. I think this is a subject that is easier to write about spontaneously, so here it goes.

I'm about thirty, and we're talking about a twenty-years difference of age. I'll imagine someone my age with a twenty years older person of the opposite sex. I think there are four point of views that need to be analyzed. As usual, my opinions do not reflect the general population's, so, as usual, if you are offended by anything I write, either accept an apology, or don't read my blog.


An Older Man
From the point of view of the girl... If she is dating him because of his financial situation, she is an opportunist and found herself a sugar daddy. She could also be with him because she wants the intellectual maturity of an older man. She could also be insecure about herself, afraid to commit to a long-term relationship with someone her age. Founding a family could even scare her - an older man already has a family, or doesn't want one.

From the point of view of the man... He is successful. His wealth or maturity helped him catch a beautiful fish in the pond.


An Older Woman
That one is harder to visualize, for the only reason that it seems to be frowned upon. A young man going out with an older woman is taboo, and can even be thought of as shameful. I think a relationship like this is more heartfelt, more mentally intimate, than the classic young girl - older man.

From the point of view of the boy... He could be tired of people his age, their immaturity. He doesn't want commitment, and prefers a hug over sex.

From the point of view of the woman... She has found someone who likes her personality more than her looks.

This is very hard for me to visualize, perhaps because years and years of movies have shown only the successful older man with his trophy younger wife.


Scenarios
You see a girl in her thirties going out with an older man. The way they move and talk together makes it obvious that the man is not her father. What are your thoughts about that?

Don't lie. "The man is successful, but is taking advantage of her naivety. The girl is there for the money, and should be ashamed." Stereotypes.

You see a young man in his thirties, walking hand in hand with an older woman that could be his mother, but obviously isn't. What are your thoughts about that?

I... I don't even know what my thoughts would be. This is so uncommon, so taboo that I don't even know what I would really think if I saw such a couple. I think I would be a little bit freaked out, but would I really?


Conclusion
However I look at this (based on my four point of views), the older person is a winner, while the younger person has some (minor or not, depending on his/her reasons) issues. I can't imagine a relationship like this going long-term, but it feels more like a short-term thing, in order to respond to a temporary void. The younger person could have something missing inside, and possibly went to the first person who was there to fill that void.

Of course, this post was assuming a 30 - 50 years old couple. A 60 - 80 years old couple is very fine by our society's standards, because the age difference is not as pronounced.

So, why would society care? The only thing I can think of is that the younger person could still have a family. Maybe people look at a girl / older man couple, and subconsciously blame her for renouncing her "obligation" to found a family? An older couple with the same age difference is socially acceptable because their families are finished, their "obligation" to the human race done with.